Master Debate-ist

Hello Again Patriots,

I apologize for my absence as of late. After hearing Brother McCain speak of the evil of ACORN, I have been out chopping down trees that produce the little evil-seed bearers. It was hard work, but I think that national park will be grateful when the Good Lord spares it from total annihilation.

Friends, I usually don't agree with the idea of sitting down and talking down with terrorists, but I must say that I have really enjoyed Brother McCain and Sister Palin's "you-know-what-whoopin" of the Terror-Twosome Obama/Biden in their recent debates. The liberal "anti-fetus-agenda" media want you to think that Barack Osama and Joe Buy-me Biden won their debates, but we know better. I want to take this opportunity to set the record straight about the debates for those who's AFR filters caught the "bate" in debate and blocked the program.

To begin, Sarah Palin debated Joe "Boxed-Wine" Biden at Washington University in Missouri in their one and only debate. All I can say is... wow. Saintly Sarah Palin showed America what straight-talk and maverickosity is all about by ignoring the moderator and talking straight to us... the American people. Gwen Ifill (whom I assume is somehow affiliated with the French Tower, therefore opposed to freedom) attacked Governor Palin all night with her "questions" and "follow-ups" about policy. Vice President Palin, not fazed by this onslaught of inquiry, reminded us all of what really matters in this election:

"You know, I think a good barometer here, as we try to figure out
has this been a good time or a bad time in America's economy, is go to
a kid's soccer game on Saturday, and turn to any parent there on the
sideline and ask them, "How are you feeling about the economy?"

Finally! It's about time that a politician has the chutzpah to recognize the real economic indicators in this country: soccer moms. While the egg-heads and econo-philes have been watching a DOW drop (I can only assume that DOW is an acronym for Doling Out Welfare) Governor Palin and Brother McCain have been listening to the real experts in the Tahoes and Crocs standing on the sidelines of soccer fields all across the nation.

Sister Palin didn't only talk straight about the economy, she had important words concerning education as well:

"Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing
backwards again. You preferenced your whole comment with the Bush
administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans
what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned
education and I'm glad that you did. I know education you are
passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god
bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right?"

Amen! Teachers' rewards are in Heaven, so why on Earth are the liberal "Corduroy-jacket" wearing elitists pushing for teacher raises? I say disband public schools and send some of that money to home-schoolers to buy new science books that fairly represent Creationism as the only REAL explanation of life on Earth. It should be up to parents to decide what their kids have to learn and what "x" stands for in an equation. Organized Algebra is nothing but a form of mathematical Communism my friends. Kudos to Sister Sarah for doing such an outstanding job at her debate.

While the Governor did a great job, we can't overlook the fine performance of Brother McCain at last night's final debate at Hofstra University. Pressed by Bob Sciefer of CBS (Clinton Biden Stalin) News for specifics on his plan to fix the economy (see soccer moms above) and provide health care, Brother McCain turned to his chief advisor on common-sense economics: Joe the Plumber. My friends, if soccer moms are the barometer of the economy, then Joe the Plumber is the compass on this great ship we call America. Look at what Brother McCain had to say about Osama's Joe-hating tax plan:

"We're going to take Joe's money, give it to Sen. Obama, and let him
spread the wealth around. I want Joe the plumber to spread the wealth
around."

Spot on Senator McCain! It's about time that we trust more plumbers with economic security. Who knows more about dealing with the economy than the guys out there hunched over porcelain living the American dream? I figure that the best solution for Democrats flushing the economy down the toilet is a couple million "Joe the Plumbers" working to plunge it right out of there. My friends, we don't need a scalpel or a hatchet, we need some Drano and a toilet snake.

That is all for now Patriots. I have noticed that there are several trees outside that may have cross-pollinated with ACORN trees, and they must be taken care of just to make sure. Remember, stay strong in the face of annoying people asking questions, it only means that they don't know something. God Bless...